Live, laugh, love.....

The way I see it those three simple words explain it all.....live freely with an open mind never judging others, laugh often and especially at yourself, love beyond measure...if you never risk being in love your missing out on the wonders of life....

This blog will show you how I live, laugh, and love on a daily basis...remember, these are my views of the world. Please take them and use them as you will....it is my journey to make this world a better place.

One person at a time......

Thursday, January 28, 2016

I refuse to let you defeat me...


I never look ahead at the workouts...
but for some reason on Tuesday evening when I was looking for my WOD I let myself "peek" at the WOD for Wednesday and Thursday...

Well.  I shouldn't have done that.

There they are first thing Thursday morning...FIRST THING...Muscle ups. It was an EMOM - 2-5 muscle ups + 30 double unders in minute 1! You've got to be kidding me.

Doesn't Jami know that I can't do muscle ups at 6:15 am?  And then it started.  Not on purpose.  Not all the time.  But for the next day and a half I had little moments of panic...I had to do muscle ups first thing in the morning.

In the gym on Wednesday I would randomly look at the rings and think to myself how am I going to do this?

My success rate on morning muscle ups averages 40-50%.  This isn't the first time I've had to deal with these same emotions.  I've had to do morning muscle ups before.  And for some reason I can't explain, they just don't come out to play that early.

Wednesday was very nicely a complete rest day.  So, I did exactly as I was told.  Nothing.  I ate food, good food, every 2-3 hours.  I didn't move a muscle.  I didn't jump rope.  I didn't enter in any handstand walking races.  I didn't stretch or move.  I rested.

It's 5:13 am Thursday:  I walk into the gym and I can feel their presence.  I am alone and I actually speak out loud, "Hi rings, I know you're there, I can't see you, but I can feel you, and you will not defeat me today!"  As I flip the switches to turn the gym lights on I glance over at the Rogue Rig and they are hanging there waiting.  Just like they do everyday!


I get the 5:15 class started and as they warm up my mind starts to wander.  I think about the rings and the muscles ups that have to happen in about an hour.  In my mind I once again "speak" to the rings, "Hi rings!, I can see you now and I will not let you get the best of me today.  We are a team.  We are a unit.  I need you to be successful.  I will not let you defeat me."

I had a plan and a goal.

My plan was to do 2 reps for each of the 7 times this came around in the EMOM.  I also wanted those reps to be consecutive.  No more one at a time, I am better than that and there is no reason I can't get two in a row.

During warm up and stretch I was quiet and withdrawn...luckily my workout partner knows me well enough that he knows when to just leave me be.  During my entire warm-up I had to push the trash from my head and just kept speaking to the rings!  "You will not defeat me!"  "We are in this together!"  "Today is the day I get past this!"

Now, you may think this is a little crazy and I agree it was an extreme measure but we are 28 days from the open.  And I have got to gain the confidence in my head and just let my body do what it wants to do and knows how to do.  I am willing to take whatever measure it takes to get there...even if it means sitting in a dark room talking to an inanimate object when I am all by myself.

Today I beat the rings.

2,2,1,2,2,2,1= 12 MU in the WOD.
My goal was 14.
So when the WOD was over, I did 2 more.

In all of my 7 attempts at my muscle ups I strung two together - failing in round 3 to get the second rep and in round 7.  My grade on morning muscle ups went from a top score of 50% to 87.5%!!!

Good morning rings, I will not let you defeat me...





Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Be right back, I gotta pee...

As I sit here typing this blog I have just left the bathroom for the 4th time this morning.  The difference today is that I have just a slight hint of yellow in my pee.  It's not my normal sunshine yellow or citrus orange color that I see many other mornings as I hit the flusher...nope not today...today I am changing me.  I can't contain my excitement as I look in the white bowl and see my progress.  It's those little things that give you encouragement to go on, to keep trying to be a better you.

I've been told so many times, "I can NEVER do what you do- you are so disciplined (insert many words here dedicated, better, blah blah blah!)"  I agree there are some areas in my life that I am hyper focused on but what about the things I am not so focused on?

Well, I am here to tell you that I am EXACTLY like you and if I can change, so can you!

We all have something in our lives that we want to change so badly, we know we need to change it, we think about it all the time and we have tried and failed so many times trying to make that change.  Yet, you are brought back to that one thing time and time again and you just can't figure out how in the world you are ever going to make this change happen.  The task at hand seems daunting and unachievable.

Here is my list of things that I struggle with doing on my own:

1.  Drinking enough water.

  • This has LONG been a struggle of mine.  I have tried everything only to revert back to my old ways.  Today Joe has agreed to check on me every hour and see that I'm drinking 1 cup of water an hour.  So far, just the fact that I know Joe is worried about my water drinking I have done exactly what is expected of me.  When others are taking time out of their lives to make sure you are being better it makes you want to try harder.  Plus, now it's a bit of a competition and Joe knows how much I like to win.  So, his last text said he was at 4 and I was only at 2...so I drank another one just to be 1 (rep) away from him!! 


2.  Daily reading of the Bible.

  • I know that when I read the bible and really dig in that I am a better person.  The hardest part for me is just DOING IT!!  It's so easy to be distracted by everything else in life.  Facebook. Jelly splash. Laundry. Work. Exercise. Eating.  But when I am in the midst of being frazzled the one person that ALWAYS leads me back to The Book is Brookie.  Without Brookie reminding me to read, "mom, sit down and read the bible for 10 minutes and then we can Facetime!"  She makes me want to be better.  Everything goes smoother when you delve into The Word. 


3.  Remembering to take my supplements.

  • This goes along with water drinking.  How many of you have bottles and bottles of vitamins and supplements that are rotting away in your cupboards?  Mine would if I didn't have Jim.  If Jim didn't put my vitamins in a bowl and set them in front of me at breakfast and dinner - they would sit in the cupboard and rot.  Every night before I go to bed, he also fixes my magnesium drink so I sleep like a baby.  I have goals to make it to the CF games - and Jim knows that being at the top of my game ALL the time is what will get me there...which means my body needs a little supplementation. 


So, we are all good at some things and not so good at other things.  The beauty of this is that you can't and you don't have to do it alone.  I have surrounded myself with like minded people.  People in my life that want to do better, be better and have similar goals and expectations.

I have created a circle of friends and acquaintances that are willing to help me be better as I help them be better.  (I cannot count on one hand how many times Deb and Cathy have stopped me from eating a donut!!)

So take inventory.  What are you good at?  What do you need to work on?  Who in your life can help you work on that one thing?  What can you do that will help another person.  Surround yourself with people in your life that want to be better.  Get rid of the crabs and naysayers.  You know the ones.

Make a list of 3 things:  Spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically that you need to improve on and tackle your closest friends to hash out a way to make it happen.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Spring has sprung.

Spring is in the air.

My favorite part of spring is waking up each morning and seeing what has popped out of the ground overnight.   I mean when you really stop and think about it - what an amazing cycle of life.  Under the ground for months it lay there in the frozen ground...and as weather warms with sunshine and the fall of rain it realizes it's time to come to the top and make a flower.  Year after year.  It's job never changes.

Along with getting these awesome presents each morning, I anxiously await for the mama robin to move into her nest that's been perched on my gutter for 5+ years now.  Every year we have a nest of new babies and I can't wait to see their tiny heads popping over the side of the nest.  Last year I almost fell off the porch railing trying to get a peek of my baby robins.

I love opening the windows each morning and hearing the birds chirp and the woodpecker going at it in the woods behind the house.  On a nice windy day hearing the chimes makes me cherish spring over and over and over.

And probably my most favorite part of spring is getting my garden ready for planting.  I've been tilling and added manure and compost.  My neighbors have to wonder why I am out there sprinkling eggshells and coffee grounds all over the place.  I LOVE my garden and will probably inundate you all with posts and blogs as each little vegetable makes its place from the ground to my table.  It's another one of those awesome wonders...that I can't wait for each year.

In the spring, I also like to take the time to refocus.  Check my goals and see where I am, what I need to improve on, where I am accomplishing as well as where I am slacking.  So, I pulled up my goal list for the gym from the first week of January 2015 and took a peek.
 



On each of these goals, I listed my goal- gave myself a date to achieve it- listed my reasons why I hadn't been able to reach that goal - listed things I could do to achieve that goal.  I am happy to say that I have accomplished all 3 of my goals that I set in January of 2015.

So, today as I march into spring I have to set new goals.  It's like spring cleaning...make everything fresh and new.  I'm happy to say that following regionals I allowed myself an entire week off.  No training, no restrictions on eating I did finally get to clean my house and get some things done on my to do list that I've put off for quite some time.  I did A LOT of sleeping as well.  And I'm sure some of you are wondering...but I've miserably failed on eating an entire bag of reese's peanut butter eggs...my original plan was to eat them all in one day...come to find out I couldn't eat them all in one week!!

This past Monday I started back at the gym ready to refocus and therefore I am announcing my goals publicly so that I can have the accountability of each and every one of you;0)

Goal #1:  I will make it to Nationals in the 2016 CrossFit Games (top 20 in my age group worldwide)
Date:  April of 2016

In order to achieve Goal #1 - I have 3 subgoals that will get me to that point:

Goal 1A:  Gymnastic movements - focus on bodyweight movements to improve weakness in HSPU and MU but not limited to just these 2 movements - also focus on butterfly pullup and kipping T2B.

Goal 1B:  Oly lifts - focus on FORM in snatch and clean and jerk.

Goal 1C: Mental game - focus on believing I am worthy of being a national competitor.

There they are.
Publicly stated for all to see.
3,2,1 GO!!





Tuesday, April 28, 2015

I almost let myself quit...but Turnbo's aren't quitters...

It's over.

For the past 3 months I have lived and breathed the Reebok CrossFit Open and now the Regionals Masters Qualifier.

Last night as I was making my final attempt at WOD 1 of the regionals qualifier...I had Jim stop the clock and I walked away after 2 minutes into the WOD I had only landed 3 muscle ups.  I knew there was no way I was going to beat my score of 17 so I called it quits.

I walked out of the gym and down the street.  In the middle of the street I started feeling sorry for myself and questioning my reasons for even doing all of this.  In the middle of my questioning I tried to make several phone calls 5 to be exact to find someone that would remind me of the reasons.

No one answered. (Hm, do you think God has a plan here?)

At that moment, I had to dig deep.  Really deep.  And decide for myself, why?

My mind was instantly flooded with reasons why...3 of those reasons were my first 3 phone calls. Brandon, Brianna and Brooke - they were reasons.  Gage was watching my every move at this moment.  He was a reason.  I had 20 other reasons standing in the gym cheering for me.  My husband who has given his time day in and day out - he was a reason.

But the real reason, the big reason, the one that was the hardest to believe - is that I deserved it.

Me.

Carole Ann Turnbo, I deserved to go in that gym and give 5 minutes of my best effort because I believed that I had the potential to be a games competitor.  Today, I had to do this for myself.  So, I told my little feeling sorry for yourself baby face to get my ass back in the gym and give what I had left to give for 5 minutes.  It was now or never...but we aren't quitters.  Turnbo's give it all to the very end.

No regrets.  EVER!

5 minutes and 4 muscle ups later, my games were over.  I knew it when I stepped off the box.  That my scores wouldn't get me to that elite 20 that go on to the next level.  But, it didn't matter at that time.  What mattered is that for each and every workout I did my very best.  The best I had in me for each day of each workout.  I had nothing more to give.

I am proud of myself.  That doesn't lessen the sting of not making it.  Please know that I cried my eyes out while Jim and Brooke were holding me. But I can hold my head high with the dignity of knowing I gave it my all.

Today as I sit here the leaderboard is telling me I'm in 33rd place IN THE WORLD!!  Seriously, someone pinch me.  How can a person not be proud of something like that!

Now, back to reality starts today with the cleaning of this poor house.  I haven't CLEANED for almost 2 months...now, most of you know what I mean here.  I have picked up...but CLEANED is a different story.  I am sucking up dust bunnies and scrubbing toilets and getting back on track.  My home, my business and most importantly my family are ready to have me back taking care of them. It was a nice hiatus having them care for me for awhile, but I like my original deal of being the mom. The leader of the pack.

I'll end today with saying, as I started to clean I walked into my bathroom where 3 months ago on the first day of the open my daughter Brookie lined my mirrors with inspirational quotes..."Musclemama", "Double under Queen", "You're the only one in the Open that has a guardian angel who's still got it!", "Good luck in the Open mommy."  and as I started to dust my dresser I came across a note from Gage:  "The most buitiful girl ever and that your the most perfect girl in the galexy.  Love GT ps you butiful" and as I started to move piles of papers I came across cards from all of my athletes and friends and then I saw the book that Jim wrote when I finished the Open... and that's when I knew, in my book, I was THE WINNER!

Proverbs 31:25-29 NIV
[25] She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. [26] She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. [27] She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. [28] Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: [29] “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Whatever it takes....

So, it's been awhile since I wrote.

I seem to have lost myself for a bit.

The past two weeks are literally a blur...it seems as though time flies whether you're having fun or not.

Gage uses this reference from time to time in the morning.  I ask that he is done with his breakfast by 7:00 am so that he can get his other stuff done before our rushed exit time of 7:20.  Some mornings he can take up to 40 minutes to eat 2 sausage links and a banana...as the clock moves towards 6:58 he'll say to himself, "Time flew, and I wasn't even having fun!"  Oh to be so literal.

So back to me.

My days have been on repeat:  4:30 am wake. Coach. Eat. Coach. WOD. Eat. Sleep. Eat. Wod. Eat. Coach. Eat. Sleep.
This shirt I have that says WOD, Eat, Sleep Repeat is no lie.
But yesterday it all came to a halt.
I hit "rock bottom!"
I realized that I lost myself in all of this.
I was no longer happy.
I've cried more in the past two weeks than I have laughed or even smiled.
My focus was off.

So, yesterday I refocused and I'm ready to hit regionals and move forward with whatever path is chosen for me.  

So, I thought I would share a couple of things I learned along the way - because every journey is a message, a chance to learn, a chance to be better:

14 Things no one ever told me would happen if you move to the next level:

1.  You become bi-polar - I could go from laughing to crying in a split second.
2.  And narcoleptic - I could fall asleep anytime anywhere.
3.  Coffee.  Enough said. (Did not help above diagnosis)
4.  When training picks up...your period stops.  (That's no lie)
5.  It's ok.  I googled it and consulted with Angela!!  Google & Angela know everything.
6.  I went 2.5 days at one point in the same clothes and no shower. (That's no lie)
7.  My husband is a saint. So are my kids.  My friends. & Dr. L - I'm surrounded by saints.
8.  It is possible that EVERY muscle can hurt at the same time.
9.  Even if every muscle hurts...you can still workout again.
10.  It is impossible to get a FULL belly.
11.  My dogs are good listeners.  Oh the things they know!
12.  This whole "game" is just as much mental as it is physical.
13.  You get presents;0) (Did I said I was surrounded by saints?)
14.  I have the ability to do "whatever it takes!"

It's 8:30 pm on Saturday night...I've done 10 workouts in 6 days and I have to get one more in before my Sunday planned rest day.  I've managed to procrastinate ALL day long.  The hammock became my best friend where I snoozed on and off for most of the day.  My family played outside and I had no control over my new proclaimed narcolepsy.  I was already upset that my Friday night training kept me away from some social time with my friends.  But, I wasn't about to look back on this evening and have a shouldof, couldof, wouldof kind of conversation with myself.

I promised myself 2 weeks ago that I would do whatever it takes to ensure that I did whatever it took.

NO REGRETS.

That's how I've lived my entire life.  I wasn't about to change it now.

Except I was sore as hell and I was tired and feeling sorry for myself.  But the workout called.  It came down to the fact that I wouldn't allow myself to eat dinner (this is HUGE) if I didn't get my workout in.  LOL.  The games we play.

So, I headed down to the basement to knock out WOD #11 so that Sunday I could have a blissful food filled rest day.

I had some work with presses, snatches and cleans and my WOD that day ended in a 3 rep max for my overhead squat.  In our basement we have "most" of the necessary equipment to knock out a good strength workout.  The one thing we don't have, is a squat rack.  So, we've managed to find a way to rack the bar so I can do my lifts.  When I had to do heavy back squats the week before...Jim and Brandon each took one side and made sure I was safe.  Tonight was our first test for the OHS...and since Jim was cooking my wonderful dinner I had grounded myself from my son was my only spotter for the day.

video

3 Reps @ 125#

video


After all my procrastinating I ended up getting 3 OHS at my body weight 135#... 

Whatever it takes.
Bring on Regionals.
3,2,1 GO!!!



Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The man behind the scenes...

Today, as I ponder on the past 5 weeks I find myself in such emotional disarray.  I'm excited that I made it to regionals.  I'm nervous that I made it to regionals.  I'm sad that the open is over.  I'm happy that the open is over.  I'm up and down and all over the place.  And for those of you that know me well, this comes as no surprise.  I wear my emotions on my sleeve for all to see...an open book...more readable than Dr. Suess' Green Eggs and Ham.  

And the one person who gets it all is the man that has been willing to stand behind me and gently prod me through each and every moment leading up to today.  

We've all heard that saying, behind every successful man is a woman.  But what about the man that takes the woman and walks along side her and teaches her and guides her and mentors her and then slowly pushes her in front of him as he takes a step back and lets her bask in the glory...of EVERYTHING he's helped her do?  

What about the man that does all of this and expects nothing in return?  What about the man that boasts each week about her accomplishments and is so proud that he can't stop telling her what a great job she is doing?

I have that man.  I have a man that will stop short of nothing to ensure my success.  Behind this successful woman is a man that gives her his everything each and every day.

James Edward Turnbo the III I love you with every ounce of my being.  I love you for holding me when I cry.  I love you for pushing me when I want to stop.  I love you for your silence (even though sometimes it makes me crazy).  I love you for knowing when I need pushed and knowing when I need coddled.  I love you for listening to me talk and talk and talk about my strategy...and letting me figure it out by myself.  I love you for ALWAYS being there when I work out.  Not speaking just present.  I love you for boasting about me each and every week.  I love you for all the times I didn't want to go on - encouraging me that I had what it takes.  I love you for making me coffee and serving me breakfast in bed when I was too exhausted to get out of it.  I love you for rubbing my sore legs, back, shoulder...and yes my booty;0)  I love you for loving me, even on the days I was so mean and had nothing positive to say. 

Jim will never boast or brag about himself.  But I will.  To the most handsome man I know - you have made me able to do what I do and I could never thank you or repay you.  My love of my life, my soulmate, my husband, my coach, my best friend.  You are my everything!!

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

I'm tired and I'm hungry and I'm tired of being hungry...

Carole's Confessions

So, today I thought I would fill you in on some things that may or may not have happened this week...

1.  Last Wednesday - I wanted to quit CF and just be done with all this.
2.  I eat cereal on Open WOD Days.
3.  I may have blamed Sarah Ralston for stealing my boss socks.
4.  I ate wheat flour on Saturday...it wasn't such a good idea.
5.  I am extremely shy and all this attention is killing me.
6.  I cried my eyes out last night when the rankings came out.
7.  I took my first ice bath today...snow bath...whatever.
8.  I hate to drink water.
9.  I know the underlying message to Jim's email newsletter today.

Let me elaborate...

1.  Last Wednesday my body hurt and I wanted nothing more than to be a "normal" person and eat a freaking bagel!  I may have whined and complained my way through my appointment with Dr. L.  I may have had an attitude all day.  I may have told Jim that I wanted to eat a bagel.  I mean who in their right mind wants to do this?  I'm tired and I'm hungry and I'm tired of being hungry.  My cortisol has to be completely out of whack as I eat, sleep, WOD, repeat the CF Open!!! 

2.  I am a creature of habit...and one habit I have is a heaping bowl of chocolate rice cereal drowning in coconut milk and topped with fresh strawberries EVERY time that I have an Open WOD to do. Who am I kidding...I don't eat just one bowl, I eat until my coconut milk is gone.  


Ingredients:  Rice, Sugar, Coconut Oil, Cocoa
Heaping spoon of coconut cream + water = coconut milk
Add strawberries for a delicious treat!
3.  This past Friday I had gone through my usual ritual...a couple of heaping bowls of cereal...typically makes a person like me pass out cold for a couple hours.  We'll call it carb crashing. During my "nap/coma" I had a dream about my son Brandon.  That was all it took for me to know that I had to wear the BOSS socks my lovely son had bought me as a gift when he was in Chicago. This was going to help my performance in the Open WOD on Friday.  Only problem was, they were nowhere to be found.  I searched in every dresser drawer of every family member.  At one point I may have proclaimed out loud, "That's it, Sarah Ralston took my socks!!"  For those of you that have NO CLUE who Sarah Ralston is - she is the one that keeps trading first and second place with me in the Central East Masters Women 45-49 age group.  And you all know she snuck in my house and stole my socks!!  

What really happened is I stuffed them in my boots and Brooke found them in the back seat of the truck on the way to the gym.  Divine intervention?!?!  Thank you Jesus - and Brooke for getting my socks.


The BOSS socks are on my feet...both Friday and Monday for the re-match!
Apparently Sarah Ralston is nicer than I've made her out to be;0)

4.  Flashback to that bagel I was craving...sometimes to get things out of my mind, I just go for it and see what happens.  Well, on Saturday I ordered a buffalo chicken wrap WITH A FLOUR TORTILLA!!! I was joining the ranks of the "normal!"  I ate approximately 1/2 - 3/4 of the actual tortilla...and then came the misery.  Lying on the floor, the bed, the couch wound up in the fetal position with stomach cramps so bad.  I am not normal, nor will I ever be.  Embrace it.

5.  The newspaper, the video, the Facebook posts, even a phone call interview from the Elkhart Police for my son Brandon resulted in talk about "my article!"  Makes me want to crawl in a hole and hide.  I was that kid that hid behind her mom's leg when people talked to me.  

6.  Last nights rankings.  I had much higher expectations for this workout.  And this one hurt.  More than I can ever express.  I'm still working through it as we speak.  

7.  Since Friday night I have had some strange muscular contractions in my right arm.  After consulting Dr. Angela on the nutritional end (possible dehydration/imbalance in nutrition) and Dr. Leffler on the muscular end (possible inflammation) ...it was suggested by Dr. Leffler that I take an ice bath.  I HATE TO BE COLD.  I cannot explain with words how much I hate to be cold...BUT I was willing to do what had to be done in order to make these stop.  

Step 1:  Shovel snow from the back porch into the bath tub.
Step 2:  Run cold water into the tub to melt some of the snow.
Step 3:  Get in the tub.
Step 4:  Make yourself sit there for 10-15 minutes.

I turned on some music...set a timer to count backwards from 15 to 0...and the only thing I had left to do was get in the tub.  I'd like you to imagine me hanging over the bathtub with all four limbs in each corner of the tub trying to figure out how to make myself get in.  This went on for almost two minutes...I finally counted 3,2,1 GO...now I know what you're all thinking...and set my arse in the tub.  At that point I may have let out a scream so primal that my dogs ran and hid under the bed.  No way were they going to watch this go down.  

I have a new fear.  Freezing to death.  I am afraid of drowning and now I am afraid of freezing to death.  IT HURT SO BAD!!  I swear I watched the hair on my legs grow back as I sat in the tub of ice water.  I made it 13 minutes from start (this includes the 2 minutes it took me to get into the water) to finish.  I got out of the tub at 9:58 - it's 11:24.  I'm still cold.



8.  Dr. A is on to something.  I don't like to drink water and my body needs it really bad.  She had me add real table salt to my water to help with hydration.  I've also been trying to eat my fair share of water filled fruits and vegetables.  Apples, peppers etc!!  


With Dr. A's wisdom I learned that "real salt" shouldn't be white..
.it should have some color in it these are minerals our
body needs that we don't get from our day to day table salt!  
9.  The newsletter - CLICK HERE TO READ


Pressure


There are two truths in life that hold true about pressure (both imposed and self-imposed). They hold true no matter what you throw at them or how you look at them.

These two truths can be summed up in three words:

  1. Buckle
  2. Pushing past
So, today I get to decide if I will buckle or push past.  This decision can only be made by me and for me.  Jim cannot make this decision for me.  Brooke cannot make this decision for me.  You cannot make this decision for me.  I am the only one who can make this decision and I must make it for myself.  

I was raised in a very large family where we were always taught to be completely selfless.  You didn't ever DO for yourself - you always did for others.

It goes against every grain of my body to want to compete for me.  Every part of me wants to compete to make each of you proud.  I want my dad to be proud, and my mom.  I want my family to be proud.  I want Jim and my kids to be proud and I want each and every one of you to be proud.  

Today, I have to dig to the deepest part of my being and let myself know it's ok to do something because I want it.  Because it's something I desire.  Because I want to make myself proud.  The struggle is real and it's only in me and can only be fixed by me.



CrossFit is the easy part.  

3,2,1 GO!!!